My hair is naturally curly. In addition to being naturally curly, it is very, very thick. In contrast, my mom’s hair is very thin and straight as a board.
What is interesting about my hair is that I did not realize that it was naturally curly until about 5 years ago. That will sound crazy, and I am fully aware of how ridiculous this sounds, but there is a reason why.
With my mom having straight hair and only having that experience and knowledge, I learned to care for my hair on a daily basis as one with straight, thin, fine hair would. That means brushing it. Combing it. Over and over.
I spent the majority of my life thinking my hair was some sort of “wavy” stuck between curly and straight. When brushed, it would appear frizzy, out of control, and a general mess. I did not know any different and was only repeating what I was taught.
Adding to the hilarity is the fact that I have in fact PAID to have my hair made to be curly, and have received more perms than I can count over the years. My hair seemed to really “take” to the perm. 😉 They would last forever it seemed.
Between five and six years ago, in the midst of the largest seasons of change that has taken place in my life, I learned quite a bit about myself, and that included my hair.
I decided one day that I was going to stop attempting to “tame” it. I was going to just leave it for a few days and let it do its own thing.
I was so surprised with what I found out. As with most things in my life, it has been a journey to accept and even enjoy the crazy un-predictableness that is my hair. Now I love and embrace it.
My mom is not to blame in this journey, she did what she knew, and did not realize that my hair (and that of my sister) played by different rules.
I think that is one of the great challenges of parenting, looking at our children and determining what they need, what is best for them, what rules their life plays by that may differ from our own.
As they grow, mature, and change into the people that they will become as adults, we have to take a step back. We have to allow them to learn who they are on their own, even if their “rules” don’t seem to apply to us.