“She’s so pretty!”
“Oh, look how cute she is!”
“What a pretty (insert an item of clothing here)!”
These are the types of comments mothers all over the country hear about their daughters on a daily basis.
These are the types of comments mothers all over the country say to their daughters on a daily basis.
I recently posted a series of pictures of my own daughter on my facebook page. A well-meaning relative commented on how pretty she was. My entire being screamed within me, “She is SO MUCH MORE!”
I replied with a thank you. Then I mentioned, “she is also smart, caring, funny, talented, creative, and so much more.”
The default in our culture is to tell little girls they are pretty. We teach young girls that they should aspire to be pretty. That beauty is what matters.
Complimenting appearance is not a bad thing in itself.
Let’s ask the question though, what happens if they are not pretty?
What happens if there is an accident of some kind that removes the standard beauty?
What happens when your beautiful soul of a daughter is in high school and some boy (or girl) tells her she is ugly?
What happens if their entire identity is built around being “pretty” and that is stripped from them?
Scriptures tell us that beauty is fleeting.
What if we, as a culture, as the group of people responsible for the mental well being of the next generation, taught our daughters that they are MORE?
We tell our sons they are brave. We tell our boys they are strong. We tell young men they are smart.
Our daughters hear us tell our sons how smart they are. Then in the same moment, we tell them they are pretty. What lesson is that sending?
What if we taught them they were strong. Brave. Powerful. Creative. Imaginative. Capable. Independent. Compassionate.
What if we built their entire foundation on something MORE than their appearance. The comments on appearance would be the cherry on top and not the main deal.
Body issues start to fall away. Girls, women, who find their worth outside of their appearance are not so fixated on the size of their thighs. They know they have more to offer than that.
Young ladies who know who they are, and are secure in themselves will not crumble when one person tells them they are not attractive. They will know that they are not for everyone.
This world has enough pressures. Yes, we need to tell our daughters they are beautiful, but we must also tell them how much MORE than that they are.