Are you really a feminist?

I have been asked if I was a feminist.
I have been asked if I really agreed with the “feminist agenda.”
I have been asked how I can possibly think “like that.”

The definition of a feminist is “a person who supports feminism.”
The definition of feminism is “the advocacy of women’s rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes.”
But we will come back to that.

I was raised in a household where the term “feminist” was said with disgust. The term often interchanged with “feminazi” was used to describe women who were vile, angry, hateful. These women HATED men. They wanted to teach young boys to be weak. They believed that in order for womenkind to advance, men, and the male of the species, needed to be squashed. They were the “burn our bras” type of women.

I am not that type of woman. I am strong. I am full of love. I am capable. I wear tons of lace. I shoe shop more than I should. I am addicted to buying cute bras (and would NEVER burn them, who can throw out that kind of cash?).

I also LOVE men. I have an amazing fiance, who pushes me to be the best version of myself. I have three sons, who are going into strong, independent, compassionate young men.

But I also have a daughter. She is growing into a strong, independent and compassionate young woman.

And I want the world for all of them.

When my children were small, shirts that said things like “girls drool” or “boys are dumb” were popular. I never tolerated this. My daughter is not lesser. My sons are not lesser. We, as a family, will choose to lift each other up. Even in the clothing we choose to put on our young children.

Feminism is not the rejection of men. It is women and men working alongside each other. It is celebrating the differences, not as lesser or greater, but as part of the fabric that makes us who we are.

Ask yourself these questions:

1. Is it acceptable for a person with lesser qualifications and lesser proven performance to be compensated at a higher rate due to their gender?

2. Is it acceptable in the work environment to expect the female co-worker to clean, take notes, get coffee, or any other servitude action that is not in their job description?

3. Is it acceptable in a work setting for a coworker, boss, or any professional person to discuss the physical features, physical attributes, clothing, or any other item not pertaining to the job performance of an individual based on gender?

If you answered “no” to any of these questions, Congratulations, you are a feminist.

As described above, feminism is simply this, treating women the way men are treated. As I mentioned in a previous post, if you would not say it to a male coworker, it should not be said to a female coworker.

It took me years to be able to come to grips with saying that I am a feminist. This does not mean that I agree with every aspect of any agenda, no matter who is behind it.

It means, at the end of the day, that I feel the importance of being compensated for my work.

It means that my appearance, as long as professional, should not play a factor in my day.

It means that whether I choose to wear boots and flannel, or heels and lace, I am no more, or no less valuable, intelligent, and capable.

This is not a bad word. It is not about hate. It is about strength. The more we can all work together, the stronger we ALL become.

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