I do not understand mean people.
Oh, I understand the concept that mean people exist. I know them. I have worked with them. I have seen them in their natural habitats.
But the part I struggle with, the thing that is too elusive for me wrap my head around, is the “why.”
I have read study after study of narcissistic mean people. I understand the theory that “hurt people hurt people.”
Over the past five years, I have learned a lot about myself. One thing I learned is that at the root of every issue, behind every problem, at the end of every policy and law, there are people. And they matter.
I have learned that it is the PEOPLE that matter to me. Not the issue at hand, but rather how the PEOPLE are affected. I don’t want to talk about the problem, I want to find out how to help the PEOPLE.
People matter. Because people matter to me, I tend to look at things a bit differently. I tend to be more lenient with my children. I look to be more patient with the waitress. I evaluate in my head what the outcome of a decision will be for the people that are involved.
I never want to make a rash decision that will adversely affect someone else.
When dealing with children, I was told many years ago that the way we speak to our children will be the soundtrack in their heads when they are adults.
This made me pause. What was I saying to my children on a daily basis? What was the soundtrack that I was writing? Was it one of hope, that let them know that I believe anything and everything they want to work towards is possible? Or was it one of defeat and unbelief?
I make plenty of mistakes, but overall, I want them to know that I believe in them.
When dealing with adults, someone else has already written their soundtrack, and most likely, I am not able to correct it.
But there are some people who I sit back and watch, and wonder “why?”
Why is that person so needy that they feel they must be rude to get someone to answer them?
What is happening in that person’s life that they feel so out of control that they must pick the smallest detail to pick apart?
How does that person feel that treating people badly will improve their lives in the long run?
People matter. When you treat your friends well, they treat you well. When you care for your family, they care for you. When you value your co-workers, they value you. It’s that whole golden rule thing we were all taught as children.
I know there are reasons behind the actions. But when the reasons are greed, spite, anger or selfishness, I simply don’t understand.
People who build their lives, businesses, and perceived “empires” on the hard work of other people are just grown up bullies. We all know of the CEO and the billionaire who doesn’t treat their employees well. But what about on a smaller scale?
It can be found all around us, on a smaller scale if we look. People who somehow feel they are entitled to treat those around them as if they are lesser. Or the ones who feel that some people’s opinions matter more due to their bank balance.
This is so wrong. Just so very wrong.
Let’s just all be better humans, ok?